Today, out of the blue, I get a phone call, a confident southern accent greets me with “Dah-ne-ese? (three delicious syllables) Do you know who this is?”
I knew that the voice was very familiar but couldn’t place it at the time. I felt old and anxious... Then this energy-filled voice identified herself as “Pam” my old college roommate from a few decades ago… in rural Arkansas in the heart of “the Bible Belt”.
OF COURSE! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! It’s only been forever since we spoke. Pam said, “I found you on Facebook!”
Holy cow!
Facebook is a wonderful thing! It allows you to quickly and painlessly re-connect with old friends that you’ve “let go” years ago for whatever stupid reasons. (“I don’t have the time. We live so far away. We’ve both moved on. We’re not the same people. We probably don’t have anything in common. She probably wouldn’t like the new me. I’m too tired to invest in “old friends”; it’s hard enough keeping up with current friends in my crazy whirlwind of a life.”) Whatever the reason, it’s not good enough, so you silently let things “slide” and there goes the friendship….for years…decades… Yet, you think of them often and wonder what their life is like. Are they happy? Do they think of me?
So today, Facebook gave me the opportunity to experience an incredible trip down “Memory Lane”.
Pam reminded me of old girlfriends and male friends significant to the two of us. Some I remembered and could actually picture their faces, but others were simply familiar names but no faces came to mind. This weekend, Pam is going to our Alma Maters’ homecoming football game and will see several of these people. At least now, she can answer the question, “What ever happened to your sidekick? (Deni-Bob as I was called by our closest pals, if they even remember me!)
I mentioned recently hearing the Carole King song “So Far Away” and recalling the time she & I hitched a ride to Memphis for a rock concert and ended up in Overland Park where we sat on a concrete wall, dangling our feet over the edge, feeling the cool southern breeze on our tanned skin, listening to music playing on a radio, watching the hippies, just talking, and being “Pam & Denise”. That memory will last forever thanks to the everlasting musical cues. Surprisingly, Pam remembered this experience with similar accuracy.
She said, ” I still have your old Jimi Hendrix cassette. I found it as I was getting rid of some of my stuff from the ’60’s and ’70’s”. (Today, my husband, a Blues harmonica player, would love hearing that ancient cassette. He’s still a dedicated “Hendrix Fan”. Me? I’m more into Pink!)
Pam spoke of various college football players she admired “way back when”. She was into the “jocks” and I was into the “freaks”. I informed her that I still don’t know anything about football. She laughed, “I know, but it was cute back then!” Actually, that was one of the few differences she and I had at the time. We loved each others’ company so much, our differences didn’t matter.
We were “two peas in a pod”. We were innocent young co-eds, gullible, and total “Jesus freaks” or “flower children” looking for peace and only the good in the world and those around us. We trusted everyone. We each wore love beads around our necks. We were good girls.
Pam had long straight blonde hair that she carefully ironed daily on our dorm room’s ironing board. I was a brunette with long frizzy ringlet (permed) curls. We both were skinny, gregarious, and attracted attention easily.
Our most common threads were our love of music, smiling, and believing in Christ. We had so many friends. Life was fun and full. However, we both lost a parent during those two years together in college. She lost her mother and I lost my father. They were significant personal losses but our friendship eased the pain. This, I’m guessing, was our real bond; the bond that keeps us forever in each others’ thoughts. Now I know just how much we bonded.
So maybe we haven’t been connected for decades; today, Facebook brought us back. And it’s SO EASY BEING SOCIAL NETWORK FRIENDS. Now, we can witness each others lives vicariously. WE DON’T HAVE TO TALK AND WE DON’T HAVE TO WRITE. (But I hope we do!) WE CAN SIMPLY READ AND ENJOY!
So maybe we aren’t the same young co-eds we once were. I’m certainly no longer the “good girl” she knew, nor skinny or gregarious. However today, we did find out that we still have lots in common. Now, we are middle-aged women who still feel younger than we should. We both struggle to maintain healthy bodies via resistance to regular exercising and diet. Our marriages are both lasting “solid” relationships even with their ups and downs. And we both are non-child-bearers by choice. It felt good to listen to a friend that shares my personal thoughts on life without children and grandchildren. It’s a been a great way of living for me! But most can’t even conceive the thought of life without their kids or grandchildren. Ho-hum.
Now that Pam & I have re-connected, hopefully some day soon, we will take the risk to actually meet and spend some face to face time. I hope so. We would be foolish to let our friendship lapse again for whatever reason. It’s just all too easy to communicate in today’s social network world.
“GO F-A-C-E-B-O-O-K!”
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